There’s been one issue that I’ve been asked to comment on many times during this past year which I’ve been reticent to answer. So here we go…
What’s the deal with holding hands during the Our Father? Why do people do it? Are we supposed to do? Are we not supposed to do it? In some churches, the entire congregation will join hands; in some, just a family will do it. This seems to be an innovation (as most liturgists call it) that came into practice sometime after Vatican II. The idea of engaging in full and conscious participation in the liturgy, which was a new idea with Vatican II, transformed into “if we hold hands, we’re consciously participating” and “we’re showing our unity”.
The United States Catholic Conference of Bishops has this stated on their website:
Some people hold hands during the Lord's Prayer, while others hold their hands out like the priest. Is there a prescribed posture for the Our Father?
No position is prescribed in the Roman Missal for an assembly gesture during the Lord's Prayer.
That’s all they say about it. Our own Archbishop Naumann sent out a letter back around 2006 to all pastors which requested that all parishes stop this practice.
Following is an excerpt from simpleCatholictruth.com written by ‘Tom’ that lays out the topic well:
•During the Mass, we have two important moments: the Consecration and Communion. It is in Communion where we find our unity – that is where we join ourselves to Christ and in Christ, through the common priesthood of the faithful.
•Holding hands is a distraction from attention due the Consecrated Body of Christ. We as Catholics are united by receiving Holy Communion, not by holding hands.
•The practice of holding hands while praying the Our Father comes from the Protestant world. This is not to say that we should avoid practices from Protestant services, quite the contrary. Many Protestant worship services are sincere, holy and powerful. That said, Protestants do not have the Real Presence of Christ. They do not have real and valid sacramental Communion that joins them with God. Therefore, they use a gesture of holding hands as a moment of communion. It’s a wonderful act of unity they perform, but Catholics have something more powerful and divine that unites us that we should always remember.
•There is nothing in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal that indicates that we should hold hands. During the Mass, gestures and actions are regulated by the Church to promote proper understanding and universal execution of the worship service. This is why there are particular moments during the Mass when we kneel, parts when we stand, parts where we sit, etc. – and nowhere in the GIRM does it say that we should hold hands when we pray the Our Father.
•Not everyone wants to hold the hand of the person next to them due to either liturgical or medical preferences. Under the guise of proper liturgy, imposing it on them creates a moment of discomfort to the detriment of prayer, piety and reflection.
One last take on it. A colleague of mine was once talking about some crazy idea that a family had that they wanted to do at a funeral. The family wanted documentation that said that they couldn’t do this idea. My friend said to them – the Church doesn’t say every possibility of things we can’t do, just what we are to do. There’s no place in any document that says you can’t get on top of a casket and dance on it while imbibing (like tradition in some parts of the world), but it’s not happening during our Catholic mass.
Regarding holding your arms out like the priest in the orans position, we aren’t to do that either. That is the position directed to the priest when the he is offering prayers on behalf of others. Notice the presider’s posture at mass – when are his arms out? When are his hands together? How about during the universal prayers? How about during the opening prayer? The Eucharistic prayer? Other documents put out by the Church direct us specifically not to imitate postures that are given to the priest which may diminish or obscure his role in persona christi as an ordained minister with an indelible mark on his soul.
My take away - Do what the Church documents say, and stick with that. And if you do insist on holding hands, do it with your own family – don’t make others uncomfortable around you. Don’t disturb their prayer.
So, let the discussion begin…