Divorce rates skyrocketing; adultery rampant; non-married cohabitating couples; children abandoned by their fathers or mothers; “same-sex unions” adopting children and calling this the “modern family”; pornography invading homes, leading to powerful addictions and total alienation from other members of the family: all of this is a bird’s eye view of the family situation in the modern world.
One way to strengthen families that are under assault, is to focus on the importance of the father in the formation of whole-some, solid and holy families. What then are goals that every man who is called to the marriage vocation should aim to attain so that indeed he can live out what is true “fatherhood” in a world of “drop-out dads”, negligent fathers, and overly timid men?
First, to be a good father he should first be a good “Son of God the Father”. The Father of the family represents and reflects the image of God the Father. If a father has an identity crisis in the spiritual realm—that is to say, he does not understand his intimate relationship to God the Father—then he will not be able to transmit to his children and family an authentic vision of God the Father.
However, if the earthly father has encountered God the Father in an intimate, personal, filial, and convincing way then he will be able to transmit this fatherhood to those whom God will place under his care. A prime example can be found in the life of Karol Woytyla — the future Holy Father, Pope John Paul II. He lost his mother at 9 years of age and then spent much of his time with his father; they even shared the same bedroom at night. Young Karol recalls waking up in the early hours, way before dawn, and seeing the figure of his father kneeling, deeply absorbed in prayer. This example of his father left an indelible impression on the young Karol. His earthly Father had a deep and intimate relationship to God the Father and transmitted this to his son.
Second, after placing primary emphasis on his relationship with God the Father, a true father should love his wife. The love and friendship that he has with his wife should be indispensable. This love should not stagnate, or worse yet, fizzle out. All too many marriages lose their vibrancy; the love grows cold to the point that both live in the same house as if they were strangers to each other. Obviously the children will suffer the consequences!
Finally, an authentic father first should provide for the spiritu-al need of the child. He should teach his child to pray as soon as possible. Little children are like sponges. The nature of a sponge is to absorb; it can absorb dirty water or clean water. Likewise, a child can absorb the dirt of the modern world or, through the help of a good father, absorb that which is pure, noble and uplifting.
Let us pray to the best of earthly fathers, Saint Joseph, and beg for his powerful intercession for all fathers.