Okay, this is new! You have a “guest columnist” this week – it’s Deacon Mike. Father Greg had the idea of having his deacons write a column once a month. Time will tell how long Father Greg will pursue this risky venture, but he did select an appropriate week to start – this Monday kicks off National Marriage Week. The National Marriage Week initiative was launched by laypeople in 2010 to pay respect to the beauty of marriage and to honor all spouses for their faithfulness and sacrifices. And since all of Father Greg’s deacons are married, who better to write a column about the beauty and dignity of marriage...what could go wrong?
Well, to provide a little context about our courtship, when I met Karen at “the Wheel” in Lawrence in 1980, she was only 18; I was 19. As she tells the story, I told her I loved her four days after we met, and that I wanted to marry her not too long after that. I think that may be a slight exaggeration. Nevertheless, when we walked down the aisle at St. Anne in 1983, I am certain that neither of us had a remote understanding of what was truly required to live out our new vocation. Thanks be to God, we were each raised in devout Catholic families, and by parents who were deeply committed to each other. But even more importantly, we had the incredible and inexhaustible gift of a Sacramental Marriage within the Catholic Church.
And why might that be important? One word – Grace.
What is Grace? Uggh – Grace is one of those complex subjects that can challenge those of us who do not have a degree in theology. Let’s draw from one of the most straightforward definitions, which we find in the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Grace is the help God gives us to respond to our vocation of becoming his adopted children.
So how does grace apply to Marriage – what help does God give the husband and wife in this vocation?
First and foremost – in Sacramental Marriage the husband and wife are united in Christ. They are afforded the power to give themselves totally to each other, as a sign of Christ’s love for us. In response to these graces, a husband and wife can find supernatural strength to thrive through prosperity and adversity – a strength that is well beyond any natural ability. And this supernatural strength – the sacramental grace of marriage – is constantly available to the couple throughout their married life.
As I look back on our years together, I clearly see how much Karen and I have drawn from the sacramental grace of our marriage:
- The incredible joy of pregnancy; the heartache of a miscarriage.
- The excitement of moving into our first home; the aching associated with separation from military deployments.
- The human tendency of selfishness and a sharp tongue; the grace of self-sacrifice and a humble, “please forgive me.”
- We have experienced the loss of two of our parents; and the gain of welcoming one into our home.
And this is what is so amazing! That God could take two flawed individuals and place His life within them – so that they could bring forth new life and be His witness to the world.
This is the grace that we receive in the Sacrament of Marriage – that is why the Church dedicates a week specifically to honor the dignity of this vocation.
Peace and grace,
Deacon Mike