As cremation rates steadily increase, families are waiting weeks, months and even years before interring their loved one’s remains, or not even doing so at all. Some wait as they hope for a more ‘meaningful’ celebration, by waiting for a particular time of year, a date with special meaning, or a time when all family can be together. Others postpone because of indecision, financial issues, family disputes or a desire to keep the remains of the deceased nearby. From the grievers perspective, keeping a loved one’s urn at home might be perceived as a means of comfort and a way to maintain the presence of the deceased. However, holding on to a loved ones remains, whether temporarily or indefinitely, often becomes an increased source of emptiness, as the remains are a constant reminder of the great sadness held inside.
When there is distance between the funeral and the interment, the ritual is incomplete, and the bereaved are left in an awkward place spiritually and emotionally. A growing number of cremains are being left and never picked up from crematories and funeral homes, yet I know Catholic Cemeteries often will take these and bury them with reverence.
We all struggle with saying goodbye, and during months like November we remember our beloved dead in special Masses and prayers, but it is through the act of letting go that we find peace and comfort. Transporting a loved one’s remains to the cemetery or columbarium serves as a bridge between the rituals celebrated in the church and the Rite of Committal in the cemetery.
Although we have physically lost our loved one, he or she is still very much present to us, and letting go of our attachment to the person’s physical remains enables us to reach through the sadness of loss to a new level of relationship with the deceased.
The Catholic cemetery or columbarium distinguishes itself as a ministry that extends the saving and healing ministry of Christ. Visiting the resting place of a loved one’s mortal remains, surrounded by the visible signs of our faith and belief in the Resurrection found in Catholic cemeteries, become a source of strength and comfort, as we long to be reunited with our loved ones in Heaven.
It is always best to plan ahead for your end of life issues, and for your funeral and burial. Catholic Cemeteries of Northeast Kansas can help your pre-planning, and will be here at Prince of Peace this week.
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them!